One of the things I miss about the Midwest is all the festivals, all year long. Food, music, harvests, ethnic holidays, film, whatever, it's all an excuse for a festival or a parade. Cities and towns scramble to come up with a festival theme that no one else has, and of course the big cities have several. Dayton, Ohio had a gourd festival last year.
(Not to be confused with Circleville, Ohio's Pumpkin Festival. At that one every year, someone wins a prize for he biggest pumpkin with a monster of 800 lbs. or more. Then the next day, regular as clockwork, the 2nd-place winner files a protest saying the winner wasn't a pumpkin, it was a gourd.)
Then there was the Piqua, Ohio Underwear Festival. It celebrates an old underwear factory that has been closed for years. People were underwear on the outside for the weekend, and not becasue Madonna does it. No boring speeches or certificate presentations, just fun.
Who has been to the screwiest festival anywhere? I have a reason to make a list of weird ones: Send to email@example.com.